


Last goodbye

by JustAnotherSamlicker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Basicly I wanted to write a Destiel fix-it, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, It's like a bandaid on a fleshwound, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Spoilers, but it didn't turn out like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 13:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherSamlicker/pseuds/JustAnotherSamlicker
Summary: Dean tells Sam that Cas has left and Sam makes him realize there is a reason Castiel only said goodbye to Dean.





	Last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm back, but I'm not back back. I've got a new job and a new apartment in a new city.  
Between working full time, and taking classes in the evening there is not a lot of time for writing, but I wanted to get back into it for NaNoWriMo. There's also lots of Sabriel ideas on my phone so those will be coming back, but after the last episode, this had to happen first.

“You what?” Sam asked as Dean told him Castiel had left. His brothers face was blank as he said that Castiel was gone and Dean hadn’t even tried to make him stay. “How could you just let him leave?” Sam asked, to dumbfounded to even be angry. Dean sighed. “Listen, we can do this without him…”  
“That’s not what I mean.” Sam said, his eyes narrowing in on Dean. “He has lost everything, and you let him go on alone.”  
“What about what we lost?” Dean asked, raising his voice. Sam scoffed. “He has lost more.” He reminded Dean. “Heaven is empty, almost all his brothers and sisters died, his father tried to destroy the world and killed his son. And now you… We… We have abandoned him.” A knot twisted in his stomach as he realized he had done nothing to stop it. He had been so caught up in his fear and grief that he completely missed the riff forming between the brothers and the angel.  
  
“Yeah well, tough luck.” Dean countered, crossing his arms. “He’s the one that choose to leave.”  
“Yes, after you volunteered him up to go to hell with someone who he described as Jack’s corpse… And I didn’t even stop it.” His voice got quieter when he realized how blind he had been.  
“Yeah and if he hadn’t killed Belphegor, Rowena would still be alive.” Dean argued, his voice hard and loud.  
“And hell would be messed up. Cas did what he believed was best and you know he did it to save our world.”  
“No use fighting over it now Sam, the dude has left, and he isn’t coming back. There’s nothing I can do to change that.”  
“Really?” Sam asked, crossing his arms as well and looking into Dean eyes. “Don’t you think there is a reason he told you goodbye. You are the only one that could have stopped him.” He turned to leave.  
“Where are you going?” Dean asked as Sam tried to leave.  
“I’m leaving you alone to think about what you’ve done, maybe pray on it.” He shot at Dean before leaving the room.  
  


\--------

Dean stayed alone in the common room. How dare Sam accuse him of driving Castiel away. Dean had just been angry; Cas should be used to this by now. He should know Dean didn’t actually want him to leave. When most of Dean’s frustration subsided Dean realized that Cas had been putting up with a lot. And even though Dean refused to believe it was all his fault, Sam was right, he had to fix this. It had been something between Dean and Cas. He remembered the relieve in Cas’s voice when he heard Dean wasn’t going to fling himself into the ocean in a box. The pain in his own heart when Cas died and how much he hated Jack at first.  
Then the tears came, as easy as turning on a faucet they rolled down Dean’s cheeks. “Dammit Cas.” It wasn’t more then a mutter, but he needed to say it out loud. To let it out. “I know how hard it’s been. No one should have to burry their child and we did it twice…” He let out a painful sigh and closed his eyes. “I shouldn’t have…”  
He choked on his words, the silence surrounding him. He looked around the room, expecting the angel to listen, expecting it to be enough. But no flutter of wings, no wonky tie and no hand on his shoulder.  
  


\------

Cas was sitting on a pier, looking out over the river. Everything looked so peaceful, like Chuck hadn’t forsaken the place and left it to crumble. He could hear Dean talking to him, it was so automatic, the way he kept looking out for Dean’s prayers.  
But this time he wouldn’t give in, he couldn’t. Not again. It had taken him so long to realize he was nothing more then a tool. And no matter how sincere Dean sounded, he wasn’t going to put himself through that. Not for Dean, not for anyone.  
It was almost harder to ignore Sam’s prayer, because Sam hadn’t been the one that hurt him, but Sam understood why he couldn’t go to him either. He prayed to Cas to take his time. Castiel sighed as he listened to both the prayers, deciding he was going to be more.  
  
Suddenly little circles appeared on the water, and when Castiel looked closer, he was able to see a pebble bouncing over the water, creating new circles across the lake. He turned around to see who threw the pebble when he realized there was a presence next to him.  
Kevin sighed. “Skipping stones is not as impressive now that I can move the stone with my mind.” He admitted. “But at least it’s something.”  
Castiel looked at the spirit next to him, wondering how he missed the bright shining soul before. “Kevin?”  
“Hey Cas.” He said, moving another rock from the riverbank bouncing over the water. “I saw you sitting here all gloomy… Trouble in paradise?”  
“I guess.” Was all Cas said, grateful not to be alone for now. Kevin nodded. “Yeah, you and Dean seemed tense, and not in the usual way.” He said. “What did he do?”  
“He thinks I’m the one that did something.” Cas shrugged. Even in his prayers, Dean still hadn’t apologized. Kevin huffed, rolling his eyes. “That sounds like him.”  
Cas shook his head. “They told me I was family, I thought I could win back his trust. I went to hell for him and he didn’t bat an eye. He got angry… Angry that I stopped another power-hungry demon from taking over hell and demonize earth.”  
Kevin nodded, putting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “So, what are you planning to do now?” He asked. Cas shrugged. “I don’t know yet… Continue hunting, build a life on earth, or maybe go back to heaven, try to sort that out…” He figured. “What about you?” Cas asked, looking at Kevin.  
“I’m not sure, but maybe we can continue hunting?” He offered. “You with your angel powers and me with these super ghost powers?” He suggested.  
Cas smiled. “I think that would be nice. I’m not saying I’ll never go back to Sam and Dean, but until then, I wouldn’t mind the company.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, not a real fix-it, at least Castiel isn't alone. I wanted this to be fluff, but I couldn't just make them come back together. I thought Cas leaving and choosing himself was to powerful for an easy fix it. Hope you guys still liked it though.  
Please let me know what you think! And if any of you are doing NaNoWriMo this year, I'd love to be sparring buddies!


End file.
